Posted in Behavioral Health, Inspirational, Mental Health, Motivational

You MIGHT Get Mad

What is your immediate reaction when someone says to you…

You might get mad, BUT…

Yeah. I thought so.

Me too. Even with all of the experience I have had in my adventurous life, I still “freak” when a conversations launches with you might get mad“.

When the conversation launches with you might get mad” you start that lovely experience of the stress response. Your heart beats a just a little faster, your hands sweat, your breathing tanks than starts to get faster and shallower and faster and shallower, beads of sweat dance on your forehead and the room starts to slightly tilt. Oh, and your mind becomes a rapidly moving slide projector of all of the “fit hits the shan” moments you and Hollywood have ever dreamed-up then flied under a really bad day.

This happened to me the other day. That you might get madopener of a conversation. Just after I had awoken from my afternoon slumber – the one’s I take after and before an overnight shift at a hospital.

My wife greeted me with you might get mad as I stood drip-drying post a nice shower. My brain and mind had yet to fully reboot so I stood there, towel in hand, butt-naked and pondered. Then my mind started to race and fill-in the blanks because my wife, like all people who start a conversation with the phrase “you may get mad but…was speaking way to slowly for my now rapidly moving brain that was attempting to anticipate what in the hell is wrong.

As it turns out, she backed our SVU out of the garage and hit the other car sitting on the drive way. “It’s just a scrape.” Pause. “For both cars though.”

Breath. I am reminding myself. Breath. I started to head to the garage then remembered I was naked, it was cold, my 18 year old son may be lurking around as it is that magical time known as dinner then I stopped. Breath. I was oddly silent. My wife repeated. “It’s only a couple of scrapes.”

Then quickly and like a ton of bricks it hit me, wow, now all four of my cars will have insurance claims on them in a period of a little over 7 months. Wow. Hit the jackpot. Bonus for me. And I will need to sell a kidney to pay for the premiums.

“I don’t care. You just deal with the repair shop and the insurance company,” was my initial response. I started to towel dry and grabbed my rob. “I am not dealing with either of those two parties again. My wife stood silent. I left the bathroom and started to pet one of my two cats that spends 80-90% of their life sleeping on the bed. “Now that’s a life,” I thought. Maybe not. “They don’t get to go to hockey games,” followed the life thought,.

In some ways, I was grateful that all the “you might get mad” was only about a small driveway accident and not some major issue – AGAIN. And I have had those. Like the Monday morning my daughter called and was frantic. Overwhelmed and out of breath she informed me that her car was stolen. Or the Tuesday morning when my distraught and stoic son called and stated that his truck’s steering gave-out and pulled him into a parked car.

Those were recent events. Couple of years ago a large oak tree decided to come in from the cold and entered the dining room via the roof of which I was alerted to by blood curdling screams of my wife and daughter sitting in the adjacent living room. That was a night. Plenty of WTF stress responses that evening.

All things considered, and after some time to absorb the narrative POST you might get mad” it was not really that big of a deal. And I guess, in writing this post, I also learned that “you might get mad” did proceed the really big tragedies of the past couple of months so I think that means that when my wife leads with “you might get mad” it is not going to be that bad after all.

Go figure.

Posted in Behavioral Health, Healing, Mental Health, Motivational

Be True to Thy Self

I am depressed. Well, “down” is a better descriptor.

Sad, maybe.

OK. Down.

I am frustrated.

I guess.

Mad, at myself, in a way, I think. Well, mad that my fear to be myself often gets in the way of me honoring who I am time and time again. It is getting pretty old.

Hard to describe actually. I feel more Unfulfilled. Yeah, I am unfulfilled. Dissatisfied.

Getting closer.

I guess.

I hope.

Getting my head around this state of being is important to me and my soul and heart and healing. Makes it sound ominous. Scary. Creepy. Weird. Yet, true.

I have something to say, to share, or so I think, believe. I want to inspire and heal: inspire you, the reader, and heal me through my creative expressions. And I hope people, like you, want to read and listen and watch the media I put forth.

Yet; I am not true to myself. I fall into the same patterns creatively and healing wise, over and over and over again. Get’s tiring. Frustrating. Lonely. And my soul and heart know it is so and my mind is calling my heart and soul out. So, I feel sad, depressed. Unsatisfied. Not healed. Lost.

The sappier and more sugar coated, filled with rainbows and unicorns my posts, videos and podcasts get the more disgusted with myself I become. That is not me. Why did I post that? What the hell and I thinking? Too “common.” Not enough catharsis. Not enough emotion. Not enough grit or pain. Sugar coated Today Show like fodder that only people who have never truly been hurt can relate with.

I am bold. Fiery. Outspoken. Candid. Cocky. Yet some of my posts appear too warm and fuzzy, for my tastes, and then I start to think I am a sellout. I loser. Fraud. Disingenuous. Phony. Letting down the people who may need, want and even benefit from my story, perspectives, creativity, innovation.

I get down.

Frustrated.

Bored.

And hate my job. I want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

This has to stop. Has to stop. Now. But, can I stop it?

I have to be authentic and genuine and transparent. Shit, I tell my clients to do this and if I can’t do it the. I am a depressed, down, frustrated hypocrite.

Great. Wonderful.

Time for a change. Time for a change.

Time to be true to myself. Be me. Do me. Trust my talents.

Honest and authentic, no matter what the price.

Hope this time it lasts.

Posted in Behavioral Health, Inspirational, Mental Health, Motivational

Faith Drives Hope, Fuels Motivation

We MUST have faith, belief in ourselves and our abilities, talents and what it is that we bring to the table in order to drive hope. Faith in me drives MY hope. Faith in you drives YOUR hope.

Once we have hope, thanks to faith, then we develop motivation to go out and create the life we (you and me) want and dream of. Separately of course. My dreams are mine and your dreams are yours. Equally important and equally as attainable.

It is that simple. Faith drives hope and hope fuels motivation.

Faith is a cognitive process by which we believe in ourselves and the dreams and plans that we have made. When we believe that those dreams and plans are obtainable, due to the unique set of skills we have developed during our life, and we believe in our unique personality, designed just for us to achieve the goals and desires we have created, all things are possible.

Simple yet complex. Generating faith is difficult. It requires practice, dedication and effort. Three things many of us hate doing cause it is real work. It’s hard. Faith is a precious cognitive process that doesn’t come naturally. Doubt now doubt us natural. Always there waiting to take Faith’s place.

For more…Check Out This Video:

Posted in Behavioral Health, Comedy, Inspirational, Mental Health, Motivational

Closed Doors & Open Windows

Check out this LIVE from the Grumpy Gator Cafe’ podcast episode on which I talk about a lousy phrase and most frustrating fact of life: closed doors and open windows.

You’ve heard that phrase. When you needed inspiration and just about threw-up in your mouth.

You’ve SAID that phrase. To some poor sucker, down and out, needing a bit of inspiration to overcome the bullshit of life and wham-o…you tell them about a closed door and a fictitious, may be there, open window somewhere on the 93rd floor of a skyscraper. And they’re in the lobby. And that window, is in the ladies room.

The phrase is logical and makes sense and is a metaphor that holds water. Yet when you are some poor sucker in need of inspiration this phrase SUCKS! It means that your healing and coping with the BS of Life requires work, a search and effort. Who in the H E Double Hockey Sticks wants THAT!?

For more, listen to the podcast below.