Posted in Behavioral Health, Healing, Mental Health, Motivational

Be True to Thy Self

I am depressed. Well, “down” is a better descriptor.

Sad, maybe.

OK. Down.

I am frustrated.

I guess.

Mad, at myself, in a way, I think. Well, mad that my fear to be myself often gets in the way of me honoring who I am time and time again. It is getting pretty old.

Hard to describe actually. I feel more Unfulfilled. Yeah, I am unfulfilled. Dissatisfied.

Getting closer.

I guess.

I hope.

Getting my head around this state of being is important to me and my soul and heart and healing. Makes it sound ominous. Scary. Creepy. Weird. Yet, true.

I have something to say, to share, or so I think, believe. I want to inspire and heal: inspire you, the reader, and heal me through my creative expressions. And I hope people, like you, want to read and listen and watch the media I put forth.

Yet; I am not true to myself. I fall into the same patterns creatively and healing wise, over and over and over again. Get’s tiring. Frustrating. Lonely. And my soul and heart know it is so and my mind is calling my heart and soul out. So, I feel sad, depressed. Unsatisfied. Not healed. Lost.

The sappier and more sugar coated, filled with rainbows and unicorns my posts, videos and podcasts get the more disgusted with myself I become. That is not me. Why did I post that? What the hell and I thinking? Too “common.” Not enough catharsis. Not enough emotion. Not enough grit or pain. Sugar coated Today Show like fodder that only people who have never truly been hurt can relate with.

I am bold. Fiery. Outspoken. Candid. Cocky. Yet some of my posts appear too warm and fuzzy, for my tastes, and then I start to think I am a sellout. I loser. Fraud. Disingenuous. Phony. Letting down the people who may need, want and even benefit from my story, perspectives, creativity, innovation.

I get down.



And hate my job. I want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

This has to stop. Has to stop. Now. But, can I stop it?

I have to be authentic and genuine and transparent. Shit, I tell my clients to do this and if I can’t do it the. I am a depressed, down, frustrated hypocrite.

Great. Wonderful.

Time for a change. Time for a change.

Time to be true to myself. Be me. Do me. Trust my talents.

Honest and authentic, no matter what the price.

Hope this time it lasts.

Posted in Behavioral Health, Inspirational, Mental Health, Motivational

Faith Drives Hope, Fuels Motivation

We MUST have faith, belief in ourselves and our abilities, talents and what it is that we bring to the table in order to drive hope. Faith in me drives MY hope. Faith in you drives YOUR hope.

Once we have hope, thanks to faith, then we develop motivation to go out and create the life we (you and me) want and dream of. Separately of course. My dreams are mine and your dreams are yours. Equally important and equally as attainable.

It is that simple. Faith drives hope and hope fuels motivation.

Faith is a cognitive process by which we believe in ourselves and the dreams and plans that we have made. When we believe that those dreams and plans are obtainable, due to the unique set of skills we have developed during our life, and we believe in our unique personality, designed just for us to achieve the goals and desires we have created, all things are possible.

Simple yet complex. Generating faith is difficult. It requires practice, dedication and effort. Three things many of us hate doing cause it is real work. It’s hard. Faith is a precious cognitive process that doesn’t come naturally. Doubt now doubt us natural. Always there waiting to take Faith’s place.

For more…Check Out This Video:

Posted in Behavioral Health, Comedy, Inspirational, Mental Health, Motivational

Closed Doors & Open Windows

Check out this LIVE from the Grumpy Gator Cafe’ podcast episode on which I talk about a lousy phrase and most frustrating fact of life: closed doors and open windows.

You’ve heard that phrase. When you needed inspiration and just about threw-up in your mouth.

You’ve SAID that phrase. To some poor sucker, down and out, needing a bit of inspiration to overcome the bullshit of life and wham-o…you tell them about a closed door and a fictitious, may be there, open window somewhere on the 93rd floor of a skyscraper. And they’re in the lobby. And that window, is in the ladies room.

The phrase is logical and makes sense and is a metaphor that holds water. Yet when you are some poor sucker in need of inspiration this phrase SUCKS! It means that your healing and coping with the BS of Life requires work, a search and effort. Who in the H E Double Hockey Sticks wants THAT!?

For more, listen to the podcast below.

Posted in Behavioral Health, Counseling, Inspirational, Mental Health, Motivational

Too Much!

Not that I do it often, more like “seldom”, well maybe even a little bit less than “seldom”, I go to a gym. I actually work out. I actually try to take care of my physical fitness along with my mental fitness. Anyways, when I’m at the gym, I sometimes see people lifting weights. And they’re always grunting. Making that guttural sound from the bowels of their soul. And I think to myself…if you need to make that kind of sound put that thing down!

It must be way too heavy.

Why do you do that to yourself?

I do the same exact thing except I tend to do this with my schedule versus a barbell. I put too many things on my schedule. I agreed to help too many people. I agree to get involved in too many projects and activities. And eventually, I’m grunting! I’m making that guttural sound from the bowels of my inner soul. And I realize I have once again overloaded my plate and overloaded my life and have completely screwed myself.

Time for another Cranium-Rectum Extraction Bob!

First of all, I’m aware of this pattern behavior. I put too much “stuff” on my plate. I take  on too special interest projects or want to help too many people. Saying “yes” when I should say “no”. Because I want to be liked by people. I wanted to be loved, appreciated, thought of as the “go-to guy.”

And, as they say, awareness is the first step in good mental fitness. I’m aware I do this. And the insight that comes from this awareness is that I become overwhelmed. I become irritable. I become angry. I become unempathetic. I have compassion fatigue. And soon I want to lay in bed, pull the covers over my head and shut out the world for a while.

Since this is the Year of Bob and I’m going to focus on my own Mental Wellness.

A couple of times in the last couple of days I have had the opportunity to add more crap to my plate, weigh myself down, ruin my own mental wellness or at least put my mental wellness in “harms way.” As I mentioned earlier being aware of this pattern and insightful of its outcomes, I actually said “No” to adding things to my already full plate.

I put “Bob” first.

I looked out for me.

And as difficult as it was, as hard and painful as it was, to say “no” to helping someone I said “yes” to Bob. It still feels kind of weird and icky and strange to say “no” to someone else and “yes” to me; however initial reports indicate this is a good thing!

For more….here’s a video