For those of you who have been following this blog or read some of my crazy posts that you know that this is the Year of Bob. A year during which I’m going to focus on my own Mental Wellness by putting myself first; by saying “yes” to Bob and “no” to others or other things or other endeavors or other activities or whatever the “other” is, my focus is to balance my own life for my own well-being.
Last week I found myself in a situation where I felt a touch overwhelmed. The amount of things that I needed to accomplish in the amount of time given seem to almost unnatural. Like no human being on the planet could ever get these things accomplished, let alone accomplished well, effectively. And remain healthy.
Falling suspect to peer pressure and my own odd and bizarre pattern, of which I am well aware, of wanting to please others so that they like me, I accomplished something that shouldn’t have been accomplished or even tried. Perhaps I didn’t do the best, most effective, most efficient, most complete job I could have had I given myself the gift of TIME. And perhaps the people that I was interacting and collaborating with didn’t get the best of what they could have or should have gotten had I be more gracious with myself.
Needless to say, or what I am trying to say, is that the evaluation of my cognitive and behavioral functioning driving the collaboration is: I took on way too much for the purpose of getting others to like me or at least not yell at me or complain about me leading ultimately to dissatisfaction with my own performance. Also, not to mention, a dissatisfaction with the experience. It wasn’t fun. It was under the gun. It was stressful. And it didn’t need to be. Had I valued my own mental wellness.
In the Year of Bob I hope to develop increased and more keen awareness and insight that leads to improved mental wellness for myself.
At the end of the day, what I learned is that I took on way too much to impress people that don’t need to be impressed all to avoid complaints that probably would have never come and I allowed a lack of self confidence in myself, my skills, my decision making process determine how much I can do in a given amount of time and provided those with whom I am collaborating less of the Best Bob I could be. And I walked away from the experience feeling drained, defeated and used when I wanted to feel empowered, helpful and satisfied.
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