Posted in Behavioral Health, Inspirational, Mental Health, Motivational

You MIGHT Get Mad

What is your immediate reaction when someone says to you…

You might get mad, BUT…

Yeah. I thought so.

Me too. Even with all of the experience I have had in my adventurous life, I still “freak” when a conversations launches with you might get mad“.

When the conversation launches with you might get mad” you start that lovely experience of the stress response. Your heart beats a just a little faster, your hands sweat, your breathing tanks than starts to get faster and shallower and faster and shallower, beads of sweat dance on your forehead and the room starts to slightly tilt. Oh, and your mind becomes a rapidly moving slide projector of all of the “fit hits the shan” moments you and Hollywood have ever dreamed-up then flied under a really bad day.

This happened to me the other day. That you might get madopener of a conversation. Just after I had awoken from my afternoon slumber – the one’s I take after and before an overnight shift at a hospital.

My wife greeted me with you might get mad as I stood drip-drying post a nice shower. My brain and mind had yet to fully reboot so I stood there, towel in hand, butt-naked and pondered. Then my mind started to race and fill-in the blanks because my wife, like all people who start a conversation with the phrase “you may get mad but…was speaking way to slowly for my now rapidly moving brain that was attempting to anticipate what in the hell is wrong.

As it turns out, she backed our SVU out of the garage and hit the other car sitting on the drive way. “It’s just a scrape.” Pause. “For both cars though.”

Breath. I am reminding myself. Breath. I started to head to the garage then remembered I was naked, it was cold, my 18 year old son may be lurking around as it is that magical time known as dinner then I stopped. Breath. I was oddly silent. My wife repeated. “It’s only a couple of scrapes.”

Then quickly and like a ton of bricks it hit me, wow, now all four of my cars will have insurance claims on them in a period of a little over 7 months. Wow. Hit the jackpot. Bonus for me. And I will need to sell a kidney to pay for the premiums.

“I don’t care. You just deal with the repair shop and the insurance company,” was my initial response. I started to towel dry and grabbed my rob. “I am not dealing with either of those two parties again. My wife stood silent. I left the bathroom and started to pet one of my two cats that spends 80-90% of their life sleeping on the bed. “Now that’s a life,” I thought. Maybe not. “They don’t get to go to hockey games,” followed the life thought,.

In some ways, I was grateful that all the “you might get mad” was only about a small driveway accident and not some major issue – AGAIN. And I have had those. Like the Monday morning my daughter called and was frantic. Overwhelmed and out of breath she informed me that her car was stolen. Or the Tuesday morning when my distraught and stoic son called and stated that his truck’s steering gave-out and pulled him into a parked car.

Those were recent events. Couple of years ago a large oak tree decided to come in from the cold and entered the dining room via the roof of which I was alerted to by blood curdling screams of my wife and daughter sitting in the adjacent living room. That was a night. Plenty of WTF stress responses that evening.

All things considered, and after some time to absorb the narrative POST you might get mad” it was not really that big of a deal. And I guess, in writing this post, I also learned that “you might get mad” did proceed the really big tragedies of the past couple of months so I think that means that when my wife leads with “you might get mad” it is not going to be that bad after all.

Go figure.

Posted in Behavioral Health, Inspirational, Mental Health, Motivational

Faith Drives Hope, Fuels Motivation

We MUST have faith, belief in ourselves and our abilities, talents and what it is that we bring to the table in order to drive hope. Faith in me drives MY hope. Faith in you drives YOUR hope.

Once we have hope, thanks to faith, then we develop motivation to go out and create the life we (you and me) want and dream of. Separately of course. My dreams are mine and your dreams are yours. Equally important and equally as attainable.

It is that simple. Faith drives hope and hope fuels motivation.

Faith is a cognitive process by which we believe in ourselves and the dreams and plans that we have made. When we believe that those dreams and plans are obtainable, due to the unique set of skills we have developed during our life, and we believe in our unique personality, designed just for us to achieve the goals and desires we have created, all things are possible.

Simple yet complex. Generating faith is difficult. It requires practice, dedication and effort. Three things many of us hate doing cause it is real work. It’s hard. Faith is a precious cognitive process that doesn’t come naturally. Doubt now doubt us natural. Always there waiting to take Faith’s place.

For more…Check Out This Video:

Posted in Behavioral Health, Comedy, Inspirational, Mental Health, Motivational

Closed Doors & Open Windows

Check out this LIVE from the Grumpy Gator Cafe’ podcast episode on which I talk about a lousy phrase and most frustrating fact of life: closed doors and open windows.

You’ve heard that phrase. When you needed inspiration and just about threw-up in your mouth.

You’ve SAID that phrase. To some poor sucker, down and out, needing a bit of inspiration to overcome the bullshit of life and wham-o…you tell them about a closed door and a fictitious, may be there, open window somewhere on the 93rd floor of a skyscraper. And they’re in the lobby. And that window, is in the ladies room.

The phrase is logical and makes sense and is a metaphor that holds water. Yet when you are some poor sucker in need of inspiration this phrase SUCKS! It means that your healing and coping with the BS of Life requires work, a search and effort. Who in the H E Double Hockey Sticks wants THAT!?

For more, listen to the podcast below.

Posted in Behavioral Health, Counseling, Inspirational, Mental Health, Motivational

Too Much!

Not that I do it often, more like “seldom”, well maybe even a little bit less than “seldom”, I go to a gym. I actually work out. I actually try to take care of my physical fitness along with my mental fitness. Anyways, when I’m at the gym, I sometimes see people lifting weights. And they’re always grunting. Making that guttural sound from the bowels of their soul. And I think to myself…if you need to make that kind of sound put that thing down!

It must be way too heavy.

Why do you do that to yourself?

I do the same exact thing except I tend to do this with my schedule versus a barbell. I put too many things on my schedule. I agreed to help too many people. I agree to get involved in too many projects and activities. And eventually, I’m grunting! I’m making that guttural sound from the bowels of my inner soul. And I realize I have once again overloaded my plate and overloaded my life and have completely screwed myself.

Time for another Cranium-Rectum Extraction Bob!

First of all, I’m aware of this pattern behavior. I put too much “stuff” on my plate. I take  on too special interest projects or want to help too many people. Saying “yes” when I should say “no”. Because I want to be liked by people. I wanted to be loved, appreciated, thought of as the “go-to guy.”

And, as they say, awareness is the first step in good mental fitness. I’m aware I do this. And the insight that comes from this awareness is that I become overwhelmed. I become irritable. I become angry. I become unempathetic. I have compassion fatigue. And soon I want to lay in bed, pull the covers over my head and shut out the world for a while.

Since this is the Year of Bob and I’m going to focus on my own Mental Wellness.

A couple of times in the last couple of days I have had the opportunity to add more crap to my plate, weigh myself down, ruin my own mental wellness or at least put my mental wellness in “harms way.” As I mentioned earlier being aware of this pattern and insightful of its outcomes, I actually said “No” to adding things to my already full plate.

I put “Bob” first.

I looked out for me.

And as difficult as it was, as hard and painful as it was, to say “no” to helping someone I said “yes” to Bob. It still feels kind of weird and icky and strange to say “no” to someone else and “yes” to me; however initial reports indicate this is a good thing!

For more….here’s a video