Posted in Behavioral Health, Counseling, Inspirational, Mental Health, Motivational

Too Much!

Not that I do it often, more like “seldom”, well maybe even a little bit less than “seldom”, I go to a gym. I actually work out. I actually try to take care of my physical fitness along with my mental fitness. Anyways, when I’m at the gym, I sometimes see people lifting weights. And they’re always grunting. Making that guttural sound from the bowels of their soul. And I think to myself…if you need to make that kind of sound put that thing down!

It must be way too heavy.

Why do you do that to yourself?

I do the same exact thing except I tend to do this with my schedule versus a barbell. I put too many things on my schedule. I agreed to help too many people. I agree to get involved in too many projects and activities. And eventually, I’m grunting! I’m making that guttural sound from the bowels of my inner soul. And I realize I have once again overloaded my plate and overloaded my life and have completely screwed myself.

Time for another Cranium-Rectum Extraction Bob!

First of all, I’m aware of this pattern behavior. I put too much “stuff” on my plate. I take  on too special interest projects or want to help too many people. Saying “yes” when I should say “no”. Because I want to be liked by people. I wanted to be loved, appreciated, thought of as the “go-to guy.”

And, as they say, awareness is the first step in good mental fitness. I’m aware I do this. And the insight that comes from this awareness is that I become overwhelmed. I become irritable. I become angry. I become unempathetic. I have compassion fatigue. And soon I want to lay in bed, pull the covers over my head and shut out the world for a while.

Since this is the Year of Bob and I’m going to focus on my own Mental Wellness.

A couple of times in the last couple of days I have had the opportunity to add more crap to my plate, weigh myself down, ruin my own mental wellness or at least put my mental wellness in “harms way.” As I mentioned earlier being aware of this pattern and insightful of its outcomes, I actually said “No” to adding things to my already full plate.

I put “Bob” first.

I looked out for me.

And as difficult as it was, as hard and painful as it was, to say “no” to helping someone I said “yes” to Bob. It still feels kind of weird and icky and strange to say “no” to someone else and “yes” to me; however initial reports indicate this is a good thing!

For more….here’s a video

Posted in Behavioral Health, Healing, Inspirational, Mental Health, Motivational

Just a Little Overdone

For those of you who have been following this blog or read some of my crazy posts that you know that this is the Year of Bob. A year during which I’m going to focus on my own Mental Wellness by putting myself first; by saying “yes” to Bob and “no” to others or other things or other endeavors or other activities or whatever the “other” is, my focus is to balance my own life for my own well-being.

Last week I found myself in a situation where I felt a touch overwhelmed. The amount of things that I needed to accomplish in the amount of time given seem to almost unnatural. Like no human being on the planet could ever get these things accomplished, let alone accomplished well, effectively. And remain healthy.

Falling suspect to peer pressure and my own odd and bizarre pattern, of which I am well aware, of wanting to please others so that they like me, I accomplished something that shouldn’t have been accomplished or even tried. Perhaps I didn’t do the best, most effective, most efficient, most complete job I could have had I given myself the gift of TIME. And perhaps the people that I was interacting and collaborating with didn’t get the best of what they could have or should have gotten had I be more gracious with myself.

Needless to say, or what I am trying to say, is that the evaluation of my cognitive and behavioral functioning driving the collaboration is: I took on way too much for the purpose of getting others to like me or at least not yell at me or complain about me leading ultimately to dissatisfaction with my own performance. Also, not to mention, a dissatisfaction with the experience. It wasn’t fun. It was under the gun. It was stressful. And it didn’t need to be. Had I valued my own mental wellness.

In the Year of Bob I hope to develop increased and more keen awareness and insight that leads to improved mental wellness for myself.

At the end of the day, what I learned is that I took on way too much to impress people that don’t need to be impressed all to avoid complaints that probably would have never come and I allowed a lack of self confidence in myself, my skills, my decision making process determine how much I can do in a given amount of time and provided those with whom I am collaborating less of the Best Bob I could be. And I walked away from the experience feeling drained, defeated and used when I wanted to feel empowered, helpful and satisfied.

Want more….here’s a video: