The Tale of Story

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So, I am finding that at the very core of what it is that I actually “do” and how I truly want to earn money is that I am guy who tells stories.

MY STORIES. Because my stories are fucking awesome! I am a bit biased though.

And if you know me at all, then you will agree I love to talk about myself and use myself and my life as a backdrop for my quirky, inane – at times and often irreverent comedy.

And I listen to other people’s stories. I am after all a counselor and story is a big part of that role. People come into counseling because the stories of their life are not what they want to hear, read or watch. People believe that their life story needs to or should have gone this way when it reality it is all fucked up. Welcome to life.

As I try to refine the “Bob Zima” brand, which seems so odd to me as it depersonalizes and corporatizes me, so that I can write and live the story of my life that I desire, I am finding that at the heart of it all, I am a middle-aged, over-weight, over-educated, under-employed, opinionated, irreverent and overly-sexual Frequent Flyer to Hell and Back. And thus, what in the hell is in THAT array of adjectives and tag lines that offers anything of value to others?

Tales of Perseverance? Inspiration? Laughter?

As I review Speaker’s Bureau websites and seek to launch the final phase of my life that includes writing books and blog posts, posting videos, creating podcasts traveling and speaking and teaching and signing books and making people laugh and say, “Hmmm, what the fuck just happened to me as I listened to THIS GUY”….I am finding that the best speakers have a passion for something other than speaking. Speaking is just the means of sharing that passion, a passion that inspires others to innovate, heal, improve their lives and the lives of others.

In short, I need to focus on the art and actuality of what it is that I do: lampoon and satirically rip the shit out of my own healing and the fucked up way in which many of us naturally attempt to begin and/or continue then actually discontinue to knowingly stop the healing process.

In most cases, we are programmed with a default healing plan. Problem is we stray from that (for many complex and valid reasons) and turn to anger, addiction, infidelity, risky behaviors and other things that actually created more need for healing than actually heal.

For Those Who WANT IT

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There is much ado about healthcare in America these days. And rightfully so. Healthcare, physical and behavioral, is a right that ALL people on this rock have a right to access and benefit from.

And as such, some people have the right to access and leverage the power of the American healthcare system and others have the right to say, “No Thanks.”

People have the right to refuse treatment as much as they have the right to engage in treatment. And that couldn’t be more true than about the American Behavioral Health industry.

As a counselor, I ONLY WANT to work with the people who truly WANT to be in treatment. If you don’t want to be there then quit wasting your time and mine. I am a counselor because I have overcome drug and alcohol addiction, been homeless with young family, bankrupted living in my in-law’s basement and I am a father who has buried two kids. And I have also played hoops with Michael Jordan, met the Pope, drove a NASCAR race car.

All I ask of my clients and anyone out there who has had a bad day, month, year….is that you fucking try. You engage. You do what you need to do for you to improve the quality of your life, to heal, to mend, to reinvent yourself.

And as a counselor, I am dedicated to working myself OUT OF A JOB! Once all of the people in the world, who WANT therapy, who WANT to improve the quality of their life, have crossed better relationships and happier times and the ability to deal with shitty times off their bucket (or as I like to say Fuck It) list, I will become an Uber Driver. My work is done.

At the end of the day, if you don’t want treatment then don’t take treatment. Don’t engage. Don’t take advantage of the awesome programs available today. Don’t waste your rime. And, since you are choosing to NOT improve your life, then at least own your shit: own your poor decisions, own the hurt you caused others, own the cardboard box in which you live, own the continued drunken and angry state in which you reside, own your aloneness because no one in their right mind wants to be with you. Own it. It must work for you. So continue. More of the same. That’s the plan that is working for you. Right?!

If life isn’t working for you. Change it. Get into treatment. Work it. Own it.

And I know. It’s tough. I have been there and done that too. It is tough. Healing is not for pussies and wimps only the brave and adventurous.

Get your head out of your ass and get your ass off of the couch and start working on healing, start improving the quality of your life and the lives of those who engage in life with you.

It will suck at times, be difficult and you’ll want to quit. Don’t!

A Pirate’s Life for Me

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Yet another BobCast has dropped and is awaiting your listen and review.

This episode discusses Bob’s approach to an Anarchy of Healing….If it feels good then it sure as hell heals good.

When it comes to healing, you and you alone are responsible for your own healing and thus, as Bob suggests, you need to be selfish and a marauder. Plunder and fight my friends if you want to heal appropriately.

For more take a listen….

//percolate.blogtalkradio.com/offsiteplayer?hostId=288627&episodeId=9902691

Aside

So how is it that you take a risk, set sail from a comfortable Harbor into the Open Seas, in an effort to find Adventure.  Adventure that will bring meaning and significance and healing into your life. After all healing is nothing more than a series of Adventures in which we find and apply significant meaning to the people places and things in our lives as well as our actions and the outcomes of those actions.

How is it that our risk-taking behaviors, which often require a fuck you and the horse you rode in on Mantra and mentality, can be compatible with an I actually care and take personal responsibility set of behaviors. 

Do you know what I’m talking about?

Healing is an independent activity in which we, as independent travelers, set our own path towards a treasure that is worth more than silver and gold. We are the ones who chart our course. We are the ones with that unique Compass. Sometimes our healing Adventures take us in opposite direction of Those whom we love or where we thought we would be heading. In order to fully heal we must be willing to say what the fuck, I’m going in this direction. And when people prevent us from going in that direction we need to be able to say goodbye. Well that was rather polite. Better to say goodbye then fuck you, I’m out of here.

For most of us who do this, meaning set our own course and walk away from those who would prevent us from healing, we need to be able to cope with and deal with the anxiety that comes from the need to chart our own course off and our own Direction and at times build boundaries with those who are preventing us from seeking our true healing path. It is this anxiety that drives our behaviors which instead of leading to Healing lead to a trail of disconnected in dysfunctional relationships in our wake.

Finding a way out of this pattern of course is the first step towards mental Wellness or I should say maybe step 20 or 22.